The study that explains why love can feel like pain — And How Ketamine Therapy Helps Rewrite That Story

There’s a study that helps explain why so many of us get stuck in relationships—or patterns—that don’t feel good but still feel familiar. Researchers exposed baby rats to the smell of peppermint, followed by a mild electric shock. As expected, the rats started to avoid the peppermint.

But here’s where it gets interesting:

If the mother rat was present when the peppermint-shock combo happened… the baby rats didn’t avoid the smell. They actually preferred it.

Even though it came with pain.

Why?

Because their brain linked that smell to being close to mom. And in early life, being close to a caregiver matters more than avoiding discomfort. It's survival instinct. The study (Moriceau & Sullivan, 2006) found that when mom was nearby, the baby’s brain didn’t register fear the way it normally would. Instead of wiring the smell to “danger,” it wired it to “connection.”And that pattern stuck.

What This Has to Do With You

If you grew up in a home where love came with tension, criticism, or emotional pain…Your system may have done the same thing.It wired those uncomfortable feelings to connection.Not because it felt good—because it was what was available.

As adults, this shows up in ways that don’t always make sense from the outside:

• You stay close to someone who’s distant or unpredictable.

• You feel anxious when things are too calm.

• You chase old patterns that never actually feel safe—but feel strangely “right.”

This isn’t about weakness.It’s about how your nervous system learned to survive.

Where Ketamine Fits In

This is one of the reasons people are turning to ketamine therapy—not just for anxiety or depression, but for the deeper, harder-to-name stuff. Ketamine can give your brain space to step outside the old wiring.It opens up a window where you can look at those old experiences without being pulled under by them.Where you can start to untangle what actually feels safe now…And what’s just habit.

How Ketamine Therapy Supports Real Healing

1. Opens a window to change - Ketamine temporarily enhances brain plasticity—loosening old, rigid emotional loops so newer, healthier ones can form.

2. Enables safe processing of early wounds - Under the influence of ketamine, you can feel and observe attachment memory differently—without retraumatizing the nervous system.

3. Helps your system relearn what safety feels like - With integration and practice, your brain can start to bond with peace, calm, and consistency—rather than stress and unpredictability.

Bottom Line

Attachment wounds are encoded in your physiology—not just stored in thought.Ketamine therapy isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about revising how your brain reads it.Giving you a chance to redefine safety on your terms.

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